Post by MichiRecRoom on Jul 31, 2014 13:03:29 GMT -5
Gah, I'm really not sure how to put this, so please don't sue me if you aren't able to understand...
I feel like I wanna be famous, but... at the same time, I feel like wanting to be famous even in a fandom as small as the WOY community (at least, it's small from what my friend Rainbow~Azelf said) makes me greedy or something like that. Or perhaps that I've just not got the faith in myself to make the kind of content that people would like. Like, in the brony fandom, I tend to make meme images (i.e. [1], [2]) because they're fun and they make people laugh. I'm not particularly famous for them, but I don't really care if I'm famous in that fandom for it...
Gosh, it's feeling like I just gave myself the answer to my own problem, but that the problem itself is still there...
I suppose I feel kinda jealous of people that I do think are famous. I guess part of the jealousy is that I frequently look through deviantART a lot, and so I'm kinda jealous of people who get their art shared a lot... and then I start to feel bad because I know if I had worked that hard, that I would probably be rewarded in a similar way. The stupid thing is, even after I start to feel bad and realize why, I still feel kinda jealous...
...I suppose this is a good way to put it: I feel jealous and then I feel bad for feeling jealous because I don't feel like I worked hard enough to get those kinds of rewards.
Since this is all bothering me so much, can someone please try to help me comprehend the situation and tell me what might I be doing wrong? I'll listen to any explanation if it means I can finally get this off my mind.
And I'm sorry if this didn't flow well... I tried to just put my thoughts down without erasing any previous thoughts, because I feel like it helps others get the message. and it also helps me to get any excess thoughts out too.
I feel like I wanna be famous, but... at the same time, I feel like wanting to be famous even in a fandom as small as the WOY community (at least, it's small from what my friend Rainbow~Azelf said) makes me greedy or something like that. Or perhaps that I've just not got the faith in myself to make the kind of content that people would like. Like, in the brony fandom, I tend to make meme images (i.e. [1], [2]) because they're fun and they make people laugh. I'm not particularly famous for them, but I don't really care if I'm famous in that fandom for it...
Gosh, it's feeling like I just gave myself the answer to my own problem, but that the problem itself is still there...
I suppose I feel kinda jealous of people that I do think are famous. I guess part of the jealousy is that I frequently look through deviantART a lot, and so I'm kinda jealous of people who get their art shared a lot... and then I start to feel bad because I know if I had worked that hard, that I would probably be rewarded in a similar way. The stupid thing is, even after I start to feel bad and realize why, I still feel kinda jealous...
...I suppose this is a good way to put it: I feel jealous and then I feel bad for feeling jealous because I don't feel like I worked hard enough to get those kinds of rewards.
Since this is all bothering me so much, can someone please try to help me comprehend the situation and tell me what might I be doing wrong? I'll listen to any explanation if it means I can finally get this off my mind.
And I'm sorry if this didn't flow well... I tried to just put my thoughts down without erasing any previous thoughts, because I feel like it helps others get the message. and it also helps me to get any excess thoughts out too.
